If Gratitude Is The Key To Happiness, Women Have It, But Men May Be Locked Out

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To date, studies of gratitude suggest there might be a difference between the sexes. However, the explorations have been limited in scope, with only a few clues to why this could be so.

Todd Kashdan, associate professor of psychology at George Mason University (GMU), wanted to explore this further — and find out why. He says that even if it is a small effect, "it could make a huge difference in the long run.” Kashdan conducted several new studies that he says point to the best way for achieving happiness. With the arrival of Mother’s Day, Father’s Day and high school and college graduations, there will be plenty of gift-giving and well wishes. When those start pouring in, he advises that we all let ourselves be grateful.

Gratitude, the emotion of thankfulness and joy in response to receiving a gift, is one of the essential ingredients for living a good life, Kashdan says. His most recent paper, published in the Journal of Personality, reveals that when it comes to achieving well-being, gender plays a role. He found that men are much less likely to feel and express gratitude than women.

In one study, Kashdan interviewed college-aged students and older adults, asking them to describe and evaluate a recent episode in which they received a gift.

* Women compared with men reported feeling less burden and obligation and greater levels of gratitude when presented with gifts.

* Older men reported greater negative emotions when the gift giver was another man.

“The way that we get socialized as children affects what we do with our emotions as adults,” says Kashdan. “Because men are generally taught to control and conceal their softer emotions, this may be limiting their well-being.”

Kashdan has been active in the positive psychology movement since 2000, when he taught one of the first college courses on the science of happiness.

He currently serves as director of the Laboratory for the Study of Social Anxiety, Character Strengths, and Related Phenomena at GMU, with an interest in the assessment and cultivation of well-being, curiosity, gratitude and meaning and purpose in life.

Kashdan says that if he had to name three elements that are essential for creating happiness and meaning in life it would be meaningful relationships, gratitude, and living in the present moment with an attitude of openness and curiosity.

Kashdan's book Curious?, which outlines ways people can enhance and maintain the various shades of well-being, is scheduled for release in ...

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