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Looking for a review for my online novel

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Looking for a review for my online novel
Description

After getting kicked out of a halfway house in San Jose, California, Lethe takes a Greyhound bus to Vegas. He finds a youth hostel on the west side called The Backpacker’s Inn. This Hotel California is refuge to a host of misfits and wanderlusts.

 

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    • 14 months ago


      Is this autobiographical or is Lethe your pseudonym? Also, is that your own artwork? It's reminiscent of the mid-1950's era and 'Giant' / 'East of Eden', btw --- just a personal observation and maybe that wasn't your aim but there it is.

      Ok, I've only read "On the Bus" but the most obvious piece of information to draw readers in is "WHY is Lethe choosing to go to Las Vegas?" There is absolutely no exploration of this at all and actually it would be a much better prism through which to introduce Lethe and the family dynamics which inform his past and trigger his subsequent adventures.

      On the first page on any journey --- either into 'Heart of Darkness' or 'On the Road' or 'Of Mice and Men' --- there is MOTIVATION. What drives our hero forward on his quest of self-discovery? What's his goal? What's the illusion he holds dear within him about Las Vegas? Is it because he hopes to win on the slot machines? is it because he met a mysterious girl at the coach station and she got on the coach before his, and he was so captivated by her he followed suit? Is he running away from a crime?

      Why should the reader be interested other than because he doodles and is self-obsessed?

      I'd suggest maybe reading:

      * The Enigma of Arrival --- VS Naipaul

      * Soul Mountain --- Guo Xinjiang (this won the Nobel Prize for Literature and has arguably the most beautifully and cleverly described reflections of a journey, imo)


      Anyway, good luck with it! It's a brave thing to do: try to write a novel. Also you should look at the lulu.com site. They will not only publish your online novel, they will also print paper versions and you can share in the revenues for your books sold.

      Hope that helps.
      Cool
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